Jurgen Klopp has slammed the Premier League’s proposal to distribute blue shells to other teams in the league, as they look to slow Liverpool’s seemingly unstoppable run to the title.
Klopp’s comments came in a press conference a day after a leaked memo from the Premier League chairman’s office revealed the league was investigating several ways to make this season’s title race more competitive.
“We’ve dealt with the horrible Club World Cup scheduling and the FA Cup replay in our winter break,” Klopp said. “If these rumors are true, well, then I have no words.”
“It would be criminal, like getting a banana while in last place.”
“This is bullshit,” he continued. “In first place we only get green shells while teams like Spurs and Everton are getting stars and bursting up the ladder.”
“The league is trying to punish us for being Rainbow Road level performers while everyone else can barely finish Luigi’s Raceway,” he finished.
Despite the memo making reference to several different methods that could be employed to slow Liverpool’s run-in to May, the document recommends the introduction of Spiny Shells as the most effective way to slow last year’s Champions League winners.
The Spiny Shells, commonly referred to as blue shells, target first place exclusively with the aim of knocking them off course, and are used as a “catch-up” system to keep competitors from taking an unassailable lead.
This is not the first time that blue shells have been used in the Premier League, with Steven Gerrard falling victim to a shell fired by Jose Mourinho, leading to the infamous slip at Anfield in April 2014.
Liverpool went on to lose that match and subsequently the title, however it remains to be seen if the use of blue shells will have any impact on this season’s title race.
Of course, other teams within the Premier League have been investigating other ways to slow down Liverpool’s run. Manchester United CEO Ed Woodward was reportedly investigating obtaining the Fat Man launcher from Fallout, however reportedly walked away after finding out the deal would be brokered by super-agent Mino Raiola.
Despite being linked with numerous other options, Woodward ended up dithering and settling on a BB Gun, much to manager Ole Gunnar Solskjær’s despair, and far too late for it to have any effect on Liverpool’s title run.
With a record lead of 22 points over second placed Manchester City, and 6 wins away from winning the league, it’s looking increasingly likely that a Call of Duty style Tactical Nuke is the only thing that could possibly stop the Reds’ march to the title.