Stock Market Plunges Off Rainbow Road

The stock market has taken a sharp plunge this week, going straight over the edge of Rainbow Road, Lakitu has confirmed.

After navigating every other track in the game relatively smoothly over the last few years, the surging stock market was unable to overcome the brutal last race, tragically going over the edge.

The market had been racing especially well, but was thwarted by a blue shell, sending the kart off the track.

While no-one is taking credit for the shell that wiped out billions and billions worth of value from the market, all signs point to the coronavirus being responsible.

The virus had come out of nowhere over the last few months, racing as Waluigi and causing havoc all across the track.

While such a fall in Mario Kart can be overcome, investors and wealth managers are panicking as there is no sign of Lakitu swooping in just yet to save the day.

“This is harrowing,” said one investment banker. “I’ve had to dismiss 35 of my personal housekeeping staff, just to be safe.”

“That’s not including the 15 I had to let go from my mega-yacht crew,” he continued. “I’m just doing what I have to do to stay afloat.”

Donald Trump has tweeted that he will be giving the stock market a mushroom to give it a much needed boost, however White House Officials later admitted that there was no mushroom available.

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